I'm frightened of cigarettes. #9

Ah, Halloween weekend. I'm so uber excited. I don't know why, I don't have anything set in stone. I had parties yesterday but none tomorrow. I am probably just going to hand out candy and watch some movies with friends, but that is enough for me. Unless the whole "Christmas Caroling" works out and I sure hope it does.

The title of this blog is because I recently attended a party where a 19 year old was present and he was smoking. I was scared out of my mind. Call me a wuss or whatever but living in Utah the only exposure to situations like that is at maybe Lagoon. I found it terrifying to finally realize: "I can really get myself into trouble" It freaked me out big time. I am just over reacting but it scared me. It really did. I would rather sit through The Ring and The Grudge again than have that feeling I had that night. I feel so helpless now. It's like I'm in this big bubble and once I step out of it I am vulnerable and I can't defend myself. I don't want to be in a bubble. I want to be out into he world but in order to do that I need to take a risk, which is one thing I am terrible at.

Cigarettes are stupid. I hate them. Really. They bring the greatest people down. I hate the thought that my loved ones are suffering because a little stick. ARg.... I should just relax, and not worry about things like this. It's like, why should it matter? We are only here for a limited time anyway, but that's too long for me. Recently it has popped into my head that if life after death is so incredible, why is it worth living all this crud we see today. I just don't understand, why is it such a big deal for someone to want to die sooner? I'm not encouraging killing or suicide or anything, I'm just trying to understand why people do it. I totally just changed gears, but I'm just addressing what I've realized this week. I'm really anxious to see what is after this. I mean, I know what this life is like, now what am I looking forward to. Any religion will say things like "Its almighty and incredible and blah blah blah" But that is no comfort to me. I should get off the subject of religion...

Wee. This week had been very fast paced. Pirates Of Penzance is coming up and I honestly don't know how we are going to pull it together. Everyone I think needs to chill out and stop being so critical though. I mean, if we can't get along with each other than how can we put this mini musical thing together? I guess it will all work out eh? We will see.

Ramblings of an insane mind... #8

I had this whole thing typed up and it just deleted it all... I guess I will have to start over.

This entry is going to be deticated to my newer friends: Becca, Auntie Patti, and Jiggy. They are incredible in their own way. Jiggy is an incredible artist, no matter how much she tries to deny it. Becca is the most helpful and cheerful person you will ever meet. Patti.. well.. she is the snarryiest person ever? Haha, She just makes me happy, and she has a beatiful singing voice. :D

These are my friends. They are there for me when I am down. They are the ones who help me out. Not the ones who are always tearing me apart, not the ones who make me feel as if I want to go grab pills, not the ones who are pushing me down rather than helping me out. I won't mention names but I do have friends that have made me feel this way.. Friends? Can I even call them that? I have seen too many relationships fall apart because we couldn't up aside our petty differences. I'm focusing this entry on Friendship.

Prepare to be dazzled by meh cornyness.

Friendship has been compared to a beautiful flower. When left untampered it can silently display its beauty, living in harmony. Then again, when one little bug or one little rainstorm comes the flower can be broken. Torn apart by the tiny things that get into its roots. Corny? Yes. True? Very. I have been friends with people all my life but I let one little thing that they do get under my skin and it totally ruins my outlook on that person. I generalize to much. I really do. That is what has caused the falling away of me and a few of my friends. I put them in a catagory. I put a mental picture of them in my mind that wasn't necisarrily true and it totally broke us up. I know it wasn't all my fault but I am taking the responsibility. We really could save this friendship. I know we could, its not that in deep trouble. But I feel that we should just let it run its course, letting it slowly drift away, rather than ending with a big blowout fight. We will still be friends, just not as tight knit as we used to be. As long as we still can talk, and be friends. I am fine with that.

I think I misused a few words... I tried my best. I gave my all. Sometimes my best wasn't good enough...

Beauty and the.. er.. Not Beauty? #7

I am going to TRY to make some sense right now. I am really out of it right now so this might not make any sense.

Who decided what beauty was anyway?! I'm going to give my "EVERYONE ON THE EARTH IS SLUTS RIGHT NOW" speach most likely. Really, who put the distinction on what is beautiful and what isn't. It really pushes my buttons that people like me are pushed down constantly because of the way the look. I mean, I'm not treated BADLY but I definatly see a difference on how people treat me, depending on if I did my make up or if I wore a baggy or tighter shirt. It really shows the true side of pople. I'm really going off on this because I see it every day with my friends, peers, and even teachers. Have you noticed certain people get certain advantages because they pull off a nice persona? I see it EVERY SINGLE DAY! I swear... some peoples kids!!

Beauty: The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.
One that is beautiful, especially a beautiful woman.
A quality or feature that is most effective, gratifying, or telling: The beauty of the venture is that we stand to lose nothing.
An outstanding or conspicuous example: “Hammett's gun went off. The shot was a beauty, just slightly behind the eyes” (Lillian Hellman).

I so love dictionary.com! I really just wanted to emphasize the distinction between hollywood or physcial beauty and TRUE, HONEST TO GOD BEATY. I know so many gorgeous people that really deserve more credit. Take Becca, she is the most amazing person every when it comes to helping people out! She is incredible. Really. And it REALLY bugged me that some people were suddenly like "HOMG BECCA IS MY BEST BUDDY" once Nickalodeon came. I know it was only a few people but oh well. And that was kind of irrelevant to the whole beauty thing... Holy crap, I think I'm really out of it right now. I'm really ticking myself off right now.. haha. This makes me laugh.

Okay.. I really need to get to bed now... Haha. I can't wait to read this when I am awake and not crazy.

See yeh guys.

Vampires AHOY!! #6

BLOG #6
Finally, I have got my art weekly drawing done and I can sit down and type. Relaxation AHOY!!
Long week, I'm glad to start a new one. Eeek, I have so much to do. I have to get my AR points and that is going terribly I must say! I cant get anything done these days it seems like... Well. I am feeling very lazy so I

decided to post Jiggy and I's story... We don't have a title yet:

My life has changed. When did vampires and evil enter my life? I can hardly remember. I know what we will be considered... strange for our story but at least we know that it is true. when I say we I am referring to my close friend Jiggy, whom has been by my side through all the madness. Jiggy, how can I explain Jiggy. She is... imaginative. She tends to let her imagination get hold of her. Since I have known her she has always been telling elaborate stories that defy all reality. I know now that I should have listened to her more. She maybe wild but she sure is an incredible friend. I remember when we first met I was sitting alone. I was lone because I tend to be grumpy. I sat their silently reading. My mind only half focused on the words I in front of me. This was because... Steve... was near by.

Now when you hear the word "Gorgeous" you think of that certain someone. I think of... Steve Maker..., because he is the huskiest hunk of all time. Honestly. He is so good looking that one look from him and you are out for the count. He brings you to your knees. Now don't ask Jiggy about ...Steve.... All she says about him are LIES! His face does NOT look like a slug infested pig sty. It looks better than the most beautiful sunset in all the land... Anyway, I was keeping my distance from the glorious creature, but never lifted my eye from him. I felt my mind drift away to dreams of ...Steve... My concentration was broken by non other than the marvelous face of Mr. Maker. "Hey... Sarah, right?" he questioned me. "Sally actually... Sally Sturn." I just stood there. I cant imagine the look on my face at that moment. Jiggy said I looked like a deer in headlights. "Oh, okay. Sally, can you hold this for me?" His words moved smoothly off his tongue as if he knew exactly what he was doing. He handed me a delicate box decorated in bright pink ribbons. I smiled sheepishly. "If you want me to." I took the small box from his hands.

I tried to give a sly smile showing that I was interested in him but it didn't turn out so right. He gave me a look as if I were the craziest person in the world. I shook it off and stared at the box he had placed me with. "Now what?" I thought. I was sure... Steve.... would be back to make out with me any second. I was a little shocked that he didn't come right away, but still, I waited patiently. He didn't come. I waited some more. No sign of ...Steve... Eventually he came back into the lunchroom, sporting his thousand watt smile that I loved ever so much. I followed him with my eyes, anticipating him to come over, but sadly he didn't. "I'm sure he's.. just shy!" I tried to reassure myself. -KABLOOEY!!-

The box... Steve.... had given me exploded loudly, spewing a strange orange goo across my face. Laughter erupted over at... Steve's... table. He had planned his prank carefully, knowing my weakness. My weakness was Steve, and he took advantage of me. I let out a small chuckle, trying my best to hide the embarrassment lurking inside me. "Hey, think that's funny do yeh?!" I heard a girl blurt a few tables over. There stood Jiggy Elee, she brushed her silky blonde hair out of her face. Jiggy is a beautiful girl, she really is. Her height is perfect, somewhere between 5'4" and 5'6". Perfect for a fourteen year old girl. ...Steve... and his gang just stared. Honestly, I don't blame them. Jiggy is not a very intimidating person, but believe me she packs a mighty punch. The next minute or two was a blur.

I remember Jiggy,..Steve...., and a whole lot of yelling. I could do nothing but stare as Jiggy ranted on treating people with proper respect. Now that I think back on it that seems totally out of character for Jiggy. Anyway this is a tale of dear jiggy and I. We decided it would be best to document our experiences. we both pray someone will believe us. I personally doubt that, but we feel it appropriate to write it all down. I must say I can hardly believe it myself, our story that is. Vampires? Ha, I still wonder every night weather the repeated bite marks on my neck and arms are real. Its hard every night, in the comfort of my own bed I cry, trying to determine why it was us who deserved this fate? Why did we deserve this? Okay, don't answer that... Our tale begins as any other. We were regular girls in a regular town. All we did was take an opportunity that was laid before us. The chain of events from our choose, was anything but ordinary. ~:.:.:.:~

This is what Jordona Wade has written:

Don't listen to Sally about Steve, his face looks like a slug infested pig sty. Seriously, his hair isn't even long enough to be hot! And he is tan, Eck! Well as you may have guessed I'm Jiggy Elee. My name isn't really Jiggy, but I don't like my real name. Well I suppose that I have to tell you the beginning of it all don't I? Well it all started out innocently enough, Sally is very, very smart I'm not so sure I can say the same about myself. But our principal came to the office one day around third period. "Mr. Carter, may I borrow Jiggy Elee and Sally Sturn for a moment?" As most people that go to our school will tell you. Mr. Carter is a wacky old freak, well sometimes I wonder if he really is insane, he seems worse than me. But any ways everything screwy happens in his classes. But me and Sally had no idea what we were in store for. We glanced at each other as we stood up and walked out of the class. The principal closed the door behind us and looked at us flipping on a smile and saying as cheerily as she could. Now I don't know much about Mrs. um... Mrs. whatever her name is. But so far

I can tell she isn't good at smiling, or at least on cue.
"Hello, I have an offer for you. It's a studying course were you go to England for about six months. You'll get to go to a school there, it's to see how you interact with new learning environment. Doesn't that sound good? If you are interested you can come with me, and I've already informed both of your parents." She ended it with a smile looking over both of our faces. I was bored, my attention isn't easily gotten. Well... most of the time anyway, but that's another story. I just smiled and nodded, not really knowing what I just agreed to. Sally looked at me quickly a questioning look on her face. Well the Principal took Sally’s look as a smile and nod. Which I don’t really think it was. She began walking and motioned for us to follow her, we followed (of course) and Sally was making conversation about what this whole thing was about. I was simply looking around, some people say I have ADD, but you know what I don’t think I do. I mean sure my attention span isn’t the longest but I do have an attention span

Any ways, we got to the office she explained we would be leaving in a couple days. I could even tell that this was a rushed thing. They gave us some disclaimers (none of which said anything about vampires) our parents had to sign them and we had to bring them back the next day or two in order to go. So that day me and Sally walked home, well after Sally’s gawking over Steve that is. Which took about two hours! Well... maybe more like ten minutes, but still that’s long. So yeah, we eventually got home after stopping at Dan’s for probably the last time for awhile to get a Jones soda. I got Crushed Melon, it was very good. We parted and went our ways, and headed to our houses. I got home and instantly went to the computer, my love, my dearest, yeah I am aware I’m a loser. But I like to do stuff on the computer, sure I may not be good at fixing it when I break it. But I can always get some nerd to do that for me. I waited for my parents to get home, and when they did showed them the paper, they both signed it. And I was all set, for tomorrow. Crawling into bed, I fell asleep within

minutes.

That is what we have so far. Remember this story is ours, please, if you need to use it (for who knows why) PLEASE give us credit. We do not want people stealing our story.

Fabbylicious #5

Horrah for Fabby! Haha, very few people know who that is.

Frightmares, one of the most curious places I have ever been to. Honestly, every year my oppinion of it changes, dramatically. One year I hate the Haunted Houses, the next I'm scrounging on the ground looking for an extra pass. I really have nothing more to do with my life, seeing I have everything I need there. Friends, Boys, Food, Bathroom. Its got it all. I maybe pathetic for going there so much but when you dont really have a life, there are limited things that you could do. I decided that I would join Auntie Patti in her blog about our glorious trip to Frightamres.

It was amazingly fun. I really wish Becca could have come, there are other weeks though. I think that she would enjoy it. If Auntie Patti would enjoy it I think Becca would like it. Fabby is incredibly "darling". Hee hee. I sure do like inside jokes!

The Hautned houses at Lagoon confuse me sometimes. I like it one day, hate it the next. I really wish I could make up my mind, eh? I remember when I was really little my brother took me in with his girlfriend. I screamed the WHOLE time. Well what I lasted. Finally my brother told a scary looking clown to take us to the exit, thank goodness. For a little girl a clown with incredibly sharp teeth is going to be pretty frightening. I finally got my courage up to go into the haunted houses, I think it was last year. I am so glad I did because now I am even more pathetic... I just love the atmosphere of the place. Its just so different from what we are all used to. Maybe that is why we like it so much. We get a chance to escape from the boring, repetitive life that we go through. Everyday doing the smae thing. Wake up. Get dressed. Go to school. Go home. thats it. That's all there is. So when you get an opprotunity to escape and go somewhere where you arent considered a freak... well people dont care as much atleast. My point is that we take any chance we get to get away from the dull reality that is our lives.

I think that is what leads up to the cheating, and the deciet in marriges. People get bored and want excitement. I think its the wrong way to go, but I know where they are coming from. They just need to find some LOYAL way of exciting up there life.. I dont know. Take up a hobby? My hobby? Lagoon. If you can call it that. Its my release. I can be myself there. I can be with my friends there. I have no worries, except maybe what time the show starts and if we have time to make it through a haunted house before it starts. I don't know. I just feel that we all need to relax and wait for the excitement to come to us sometimes

In conclusioun I think that we all need to loosen up and do a little jig.

You know this boogie is for real.
Sarah

When the guys in masks come out... #4

Frightmares if finally open. I've been going there since I was very little but have never been able to enjoy everything because I'm a chicken. Now I've come to terms with the fact they aren't real monsters... or are they??? Anyway, I went last night, first with my parents, and met up with my friend Jiggy (or Jordona if you know her) Jiggy is awesome but she is deathly afraid of the haunted house. We spent like twenty minutes trying to get her in there but alas. She would not go. So Alicia and I went, which was fine with me. The haunted houses are really stupid when you think about other ones, like Rocky Point and Nightmare on 13th. But I couldn't handle those ones so I'm sticking with Lagoon. I love the sound of Frightmares. This year it's even better because there is ALWAYS great music playing everywhere. The fog is a nice effect also. I'm really excited for next week when I can go with some different people from our school. It's one thing to go with the same people over and over again (cough Carli and Meagan cough) but when you go with some different friends it adds different things to the experience. Jordona is fun because she is scared of everything, I don't mind going with her over and over again... even though she won't venture into the haunted house. I really want to take Becca one day, ha, I think she is sick of me trying to get her into Lagoon. I just think it is fun I guess.
Today my family is coming over to eat with us. I'm nervous. Lately I've found that I feel very unwelcome, by my own family. Sometimes it doesn't seem bad but I don't know. I just feel like I'm the younger sister so I'm not worth listening to. I know that's not true, I know they love me but it's hard when you try to get a word in but nobody listens. I'm very excited though, my nephew is coming. My bother and his wife adopted him when he was seven months. He is now a year old and doing amazing. He is so adorable. And I have a niece on the way! My sister-in-law is due in February! We are all very excited and hope everything goes well. Wow, now you know what is going on with my family I guess. Ha.

Guess what? I got new shoes. Not just new shoes, COOL new shoes. I just had to bring this up because I am way excited for some reason. They are just white but the shoelaces and design on the side are checkered. Great huh?! This was a random thing to bring up, no? I have been wearing my old gym shoes forever, so it's nice to get a new pair. They are extremely comfortable, and you know, sensible shoes are important! I would know. I'm a shoe expert. Cough. I really need to get good shoes because I had surgery on my feet when I was about eight years old, so if I don't have good shoes it can REALLY hurt, believe me. Luckily, I'm pretty much over it now, but I do have to have another surgery, my leg is all wack. Ask to see it one day, its awesome, but not for the weak of heart... okay so it's not that bad.
Well, I must go.

Soda