No body likes you... #26

Green day.

Mr. T! I'm so so so sorry about Anthem! I really am! I'm trying really hard to get everything ready, I just cant find it in my locker! I'm really sorry! I'll get it to you tomorrow hopefully! Please don't hate me!

...

Anyway. Desperate ranting is over now. I really liked this Memoir I wrote in english so I thought I'd post it:
Forced into Darkness

I have never been so scared in my life. Home is supposed to be somewhere I can be safe and feel at peace. For the most part, my house is a care free environment, with happy times and a loving feeling through out the halls… Except one area that terrifies me even today, the basement. I’m supposed to go down stairs and grab some clothes but something inside of me is holding me back. My basement is the darkest creepiest area and I’m supposed to go down there? Me? I’m the coward of my family! No way. I refuse, but my mom makes me anyway.
“Sarah, I need you to go get my work pants! Now scoot!” my mom says to me. I feel my mind begin to race and my palms become sweaty.
“D-Downstairs?” I gulped. I wish my mom would ask my brother instead of me. I shoot her a terrified expression and make my way down the first set of steps. That was the easy part. I walk steadily down the kitchen hallway where the door to the basement lies. My mind is rejecting the thoughts of going down the eerie stairwell. My trembling hand reaches for the worn hand and I open the door revealing a hungry black abyss waiting to consume innocent little me. I felt so overcome with fear; I have never been so scared of my own home before.
I take one step into the hall placing me a step closer to the blackness. I make my trembling take another step down. ‘This is getting easier’ I think to myself. My eyes wane to the cobwebs on the ceiling, and shudder. ‘Never mind…’ I squeak as the cobwebs send a new fear over me. As I trudge my way through the blankness I begin to have a strange sense of vertigo and see my whole life flash before my eyes.
I see my mother happily escorting me to the bathroom at Garcia’s, our favorite family restaurant at the time. Now, I see my brothers wrestling on the couch. Then I see a flying tomato with a possum dressed as a fireman pass my view. ‘Huh?’ I freeze. That never happened!
The strange hallucination, which I assumed was brought upon by fear, snaps m back to reality and I draw my attention to the fact that I have reached the bottom of the stairs. As if I had just conquered Mt. Everest I pant deeply, grasping the handle bolted to the side of the wall. My hand shakes violently as I reach for the light switch.
“Sarah! Hurry!” my mom hollers from upstairs. I hear her scrambling around, completing her daily routine. Her screaming causes me to jump and I trip over a nearby box, stumbling into the basement in front of the Laundry room. ‘Convenient…’ I chuckle.
The darkness looms over me, taking my breath. I pick myself up and walk into the laundry room, immediately spotting my moms work pants. I also see a laundry basket with my freshly clean socks, which I had needed for a while now. I snatch a pair and turn to run. Behind me I hear a heavy breathing, thrusting me into panic mode, which for a young girl is pretty drastic. The breathing continues and begins to almost follow me. I force myself to hurtle up the steps, feeling as if the darkness is nipping at my heel, dragging me back down into the pits of my personal hell.
I rip myself away from the cold grasp, and fall through the door and into my kitchen.
My body pulls itself up in fear and darts toward the stairs to the upper level. I surge up the second stairs and dart down the hall. My mom stares at me blankly as I throw myself onto her wobbly waterbed. My breathing is staggered and I can barely lift my head.
“Did… Did you get my pants?” asked my mom timidly. I pull the pants from underneath me and throw them at her.
“Thanks, sweetums!” My mom said as she pulled herself to go iron them. My brother Justin trudges in and holds up a sock to me.
“I tried to give it to you downstairs, but you ran away from me.” He mumbled. I stop and stare at him. I immediately recognize a heavy breathing escaping his sick lungs. My brother was the creature in the darkness that I was terrified. All my fear, for nothing…

Strawberry Fields... #25

..forever.

Three day weekends are always so tiring, but so relaxing. Does that even make sense?

Ipods are the talk of the school lately. Most of the teachers hate them because kids are always listening to them during class. I would kill for an iPod... Okay, not kill, maybe eat a bowl of... jelly beans or something. The talk is that all the students are complaining that they hate when teachers take them away. Solution? DONT USE THEM IN CLASS MORONS. I would love one but when your parents are trying to raise you and help you get good grades and you ware wasting their and teachers efforts why should they allow you to even have one? There is a time and place for certain things and in the middle of an important lecture in class is not the time for an iPod.

Teachers prepare a lot for their lessons, why should they put so much effort when no one cares? Why do I care so much? Because it drives me insane when people don't pay attention to me when I have something important to say, and it bugs me when I do it to others. And also when I see it happening. Yes. It drives me insane when I'm trying to concentrate and I can hear Fall Out Boy playing next to me. I mean, I'm guilty of not paying attention but so is everyone. Why make it worse by bringing even more distractions in. It's silly that teenagers HAVE to have a cell phone. They HAVE to have an iPod. They HAVE to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Why do these things matter? I have none of those and I'm perfectly happy! I wish that people could be happier with the simple things in life.

What happened to exercise and playing soccer in the park? I spend my day sitting on the computer or in front of the computer. I used to be such an active kid and now I'm just a lazy potato. I wish that I the energy I had as a kid. I'm just becoming more and more lazy and I see it all around me. Is there some kind of support group for this!? Ha ha. I'm just really ready for school to start, and me to get more motivated. I don't know where all my motivation went. I used to be such an incredible student. I got invited to Spectrum but I declined because my grandmammy, who was a principal at the time, suggested not to because I didn't seem like I would like it. It just seems so weird the radical change I have made. It's not necessarily bad. I mean maybe it will teach me to work harder. I did better this term. I got my grades fairly up. I have nothing above a C now, which was defiantly not the case a couple weeks ago. I'm really proud of myself for sticking it out but I just can't help but feel disappointed as well. I could have tried harder. I could have gotten a better grade.

It's the beginning of a new term and I'm ready to start achieving the straight A's that I wanted when I was a little girl.
I'd love to continue but my hair needs drying.
Remember, the Beatles maybe have been on drugs but their music is still great.

I need to find some peace ...#24

All these problems on my mind
Make it hard for me to think
There is no way I can stop
My poor brain is gonna' pop
And I don't have a purpose
Scattered on the surface
I need to find some peace

WEEZER

Lately I have been thinking about how lucky I am. I'm sitting here on a computer typing while someone out there is struggling for food? It makes me really grateful for what I have. I've had an incredibly busy week with concerts, tests and having the sniffles. I'm really exhausted, but right now I am really happy. I just feel so rejuvenated. This week was exactly what I needed. I'm looking forward to this week.

I've been thinking a lot about what I'm going to do with my life, considering that we just got registration things for high school. My mom is going through a break down because I'm growing up too fast, which is something I'm afraid of. What if I don't get in my full potential? What if my life ends before I get a chance to reach my goals? So many things have come to mind these past weeks, and I have to say they are exciting. I'm really glad that I have the opportunity to go to this school. I mean, a lot of people don't even get an elementary education, and I'm being spoiled. Something inside of me really wants to change how I live. I want to live more humbly and appreciate things more; especially the little things that usually I let pass me by. I never realized how lucky I am, and how many great things have been offered to me. I really take life for granted sometimes and I wish that I could get past this.

I know that I have so many things to look forward to in life. I’ve missed so many things already that I just want to start over and get back what I’ve missed. Becca has accomplished so many things it’s amazing to look at her resume. I mean, I’ve never had a job and she’s winning contests and could get into almost any college she wants. She has so much potential and so much going for her. It’s so amazing to watch her progress, and I’m so glad I have gotten to know her better. Seeing her gives me so much enthusiasm and I’m really eager to try to be like her. She is so giving, while I am so selfish. I’m glad I have such great influences as friends. They have such powerful personalities and are always there to help me out and push me on the right path. I am truly lucky on how great of friends I have. Thanks you guys for always being so awesome to me. Patti, when is the next Moosebutter concert? Tee hee. I’ve never had so much fun! I hope they can come to our school.

Well, I feel really relaxed today. This blog was really nice to write. I feel completely calm, and happy. Yey. I hope that I can change myself for the better. I need to work on being friendlier, I think. I can seem really grumpy but it’s just shyness taking the best of me. I really hope that everyone can realize their potential to make others, and themselves happy. The only thing that keeps you from being unhappy is yourself. You can’t change what other people say and do, you can only change yourself, and how you treat them. My mom always says that to me, and it’s really starting to make a difference in my life. Raise the moose.

#23 Seahorse

As I chomped my way through the delight I felt my eyelids get a wee-bit heavier, and my knees give way under my weight. I swung myself away from the busy café area and faced the cowboy. I glared as menacing as my face muscles would allow. The man just scoffed and grabbed my arm tightly, holding me up so I wouldn’t fall.
“When… I come to… I’m going to... beat the…” I trailed off and let my face fall into the peanut bowl on the counter. The westerner pulled my head out of the bowl and chuckled. I returned his laugh sarcastically. My legs were now useless, my body was shutting down, and I had no control. Jiggy now took attention to me. Her face bore a confused look, as if she couldn’t understand what I was doing but when she saw the leather gloved hand gripping my shoulder her attitude changed. She was my guard, and always took care of me. She furrowed her brow trying to think of something to do that would cause less distraction. Finding no other solution Jiggy charged the man abducting me.
“Sally, get away from the strange man with funny pants!” Jiggy threatened, referring to the cowboys chaps. She knocked over a waitress on the way, who was holding a cup of scolding coffee. She later sued us, due to a broken collar bone, but that is a totally different story.
“Hello, does it look like I can do anything?!” I whimpered tiredly to her, but I was barely audible for she was too far away, and I was too weak. Jiggy was close to me now and I could almost reach her out-stretched hand when another oddly clothed hand grasped her fore-arm. She jerked back, recoiling but not loosening the grasp of her attacker. She turned to see a tall, broad-shouldered man with a pale complexion. He stared down at her and moved his red and black hair out of his face.
“Hello, friend.” He taunted to Jiggy as she began furiously trying to rip away from the man. He wrapped his lengthy trench-coat around the thrashing girl to draw less attention.
“Come on dear, I don’t want you to get wet in the rain!” The pale man thundered so the restaurant was aware of his protection. I moved my head to the window to see a thunderstorm hand sure enough formed around the, what was a minute ago, clear sky. This abductor glanced at my own enemy and gave him a quick smile. Feeling another surge of weakness, I collapsed under my own weight and fell into the chair next to me. One more quick look at Jiggy and I realized that her own attacker had lured her into submission with a large bowl of popcorn. She submitted to him effortlessly and was led out the double doors of our last remembrance of what was normal.
I fell into a chair near me and glanced at my captor one more time before falling into a deep sleep. They had succeeded, and changed our life into what we though were a nightmare that is continually circling through our naïve minds. I’m sure Jiggy would agree that our lives changed… Did it change for the better? Who can say when you are walking into your apparent doom?

Another continuation that I needed to type up. :D wee.