Scrapbook... #whatever it is

This is going to be a place to put my motivational stuff. Yes. Things that helped me through hard times, things that made me laugh, mermorable conversations on MSN. They may not be the most literate, thoughtful, or they seem to do more damage then good, if it is in here it helped me in some way.

To all of those who helped me get through the year, thank you. I know I'm a procrastinator and I don't always do what I should but I know for a fact that it's because of you I lead a better life and you give me the strength to go on. Thank you.

Energy and persistence conquer all things.
Benjamin Franklin

Start each day with happy attitudes.

Smile, laugh!

Fun and healthy thoughts aren't merely for children, you know -- or for the rich -- or the happy go lucky. You need fun and laughter almost as much as you need food!

Perhaps each day seems alike .. gray and grim. You are irritated by little things, you drag yourself to do one task to another. You aren't really sick but you're far from feeling well ..

It is not hard work that drains off your energy but emotional upheaval, those unguarded thoughts that robs you from happy attitude and pleasant, peaceful mind.

Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little but give much. Fill your life with love. Scatter sunshine. Forget self and think of others.

Do as you would be done by.

You can't change what others think or do. You can only change how you treat them. You just have to let things run its course.
My Mom

Feeling good about yourself is the first step on making others feel good about themselves.
I heard it somewhere.

As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very pleasurable - until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN HEAD!!
Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

I'll add more in a bit. I have to finish my ToTC stuff.

I can't take it... #31

Just kidding. I can take it.

I'm just kind of lounging around right now. My whole family is coming over for dinner tonight and I've just cleaned my room, my family room and my bathroom in about an hour. It actually wasn't too bad. That shows how much I have matured. Usually I just lock myself in my room and wait till someone calls me. I like to think I've matured a lot, but it's hard to say. Some days I'm very serious and have intellectual conversations with my friends. Then other days I'm crazy and can't even put a sentence together. I think that's where I'm making my transition into high school. It's a different atmosphere there and I'm trying to prep myself. I'm currently working on an audition for Layton High's show choirs. Lace, Lyrics and Laytones. We have to do this really fast dance, and for someone uncoordinated like me it's really difficult. My brother told me trails of his auditions and told me how easy his dance was. I'm so jealous. I think that they have focused too much on choreography at Layton High's choirs. They don't even sing very much harmony because it is ALL dancing! It makes me kind of sad because I really can't dance. I'm just not cut out for it. I used to be a big dancer, and was always doing practices and stuff. I kind of just... gave that up. I've fallen out of being a physical person. I used to play soccer a lot, and do all these outdoor activities. Now I complain at just taking a walk. It's sad to say that but it's true. I'm really anxious to see what changes I'm going to make when I get into Layton High. It's weird to think this is my last month of Jr. High. I'm really going to miss this school. My mom says that once I get to high school I won't think that way, which is probably true. But I can't help but feel a feeling of regret for things I didn't do, resentment for things people did for me, and remembrance at all the great friends and things that have happened to me. I think I have matured but I seriously doubt that for half the student body. They think that being "churchy" is not cool, and that swearing and talking back to teachers will get you "in" with the crowd. Since when did being a self-absorbed dork become cool? Did I not get that memo? I've seen a lot of great kids become complete idiots because they have fallen victim to the immaturity bug. It drives me insane when people make fun of teachers and do crap to them that isn’t necessary. They are trying to teach you and trying to make a living for themselves and this is how you repay them? I just hope the reality of their worthlessness and stupidity hits them soon. They are going to realize that all those N's and U's and F's are going to come back and bite them in the butt. I'm not really churchy, and I'm not a straight a student but I do believe in respect and responsibility. Take action for your own life and don't let your big head lead you the wrong way. Don't live life thinking your social status is everything. Broaden your horizons a bit. Remember, life is short and if you focus everything on one aspect of life you will miss out on all those other great things.
Am I being nagging enough for you? Well, dinner is calling.
I really hope someone reads this that needs it.

Even when your hope is gone... #30

Move along. Move along just to make it though.

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Hey everyone. Another randomly thought up blog. I'm just thinking about everything that is going on with my life. I mean, getting ready for high school and all those great things. It's really difficult to wrap my fingers around it. I'm getting very scared for it. I'm going into it with friends but I'm just not going to have things that I have here at Fairfield. I'm just thinking about my friends and how far I've come since 7th grade. I've changed friends a lot, but something I'm proud of is that I've maintained the friendships with the people that I may not hang out with as much. I'm just glad I haven't lost any friends with a fight, or anything. I haven't even lost any. I still have friends from elementary school which a lot of people don't have. Yey, I have a good track record so far. The bad thing is that my friends that I hang out with now are getting really annoyed with me, and they kind of gang up on me a lot. I'm just kind of worried that I'm the extra person and I'm not really up to snuff with everything they are doing. They always hang out then invite me after they have hung out for an hour already. Then when I get there they pick out my faults and laugh at me. I don't know. I am overreacting I know but it's hard to ignore the fact that my friends don't like the way I am. That's okay though. I will just work to make myself better. I'm really happy with the way everything is going right now. I'm maintaining a B in most of my classes, which is good because usually at midterm I have all C's. I personally am doing SO much better with the program that Mrs. Barney is using for our reading. I'm reading so much more and enjoying it. I love to read now, and I'm just soaking up my reading time. It's so much freer and I've finished twice as many books as I would have with the "old ways." I'm feeling better about myself and my grades. I'm still a huge procrastinator but I've been working harder all term. I'm getting the grades I deserve which is good. My life certainly isn't perfect but I'm perfectly happy with it. Wee. I'm so excited for the summer. I didn't think I would be because I get really bored and just sit around on the computer all day (like I do now), but now I have big plans for the summer. My friend wants me to do this theater group thing with her. Almost all of my close friends are working on getting passes to Lagoon so that will occupy a decent amount of my time. And my mom wants me to do some water aerobics with her, which will get rid of all this weight I've built up with the computer.

Pour the Champagne... #29

Happy Easter. Yes. Candy. The title of this blog is referring to this new band I'm looking into called "Panic at the Disco" I really like the few songs I have heard of them I have really liked. They are similar to things I listen to but they have their own style that you don't hear very often in music. I'm really into slow, somewhat different music. If you have heard "Death Cab for Cutie" or "Keane" then you have an idea of some of the things I like a lot. That's not all I like, it's just something I'm usually drawn to. On Tuesday of this week I attended a concert. It was my first, and I tend to be extremely paranoid, so I was very anxious. I was going to see Fall Out Boy, All American Rejects, Hawthorne Heights, and From First To Last. By the time I got in the first band was playing. I had never heard of them so I wasn't particularly interested. I was more interested on staying alive. I told you, I was REALLY paranoid, ha ha. I went with my friend Jordona, and her parents took us. Jordona wanted to go out of our seats and go find better seats but I was really reluctant. She finally persuaded me and we went down close to the stage when All American Rejects were playing. They are one of my favorite bands so I was way excited when they started playing one of my favorite songs; It Ends Tonight. They had everyone hold up cell phones and hold them up. Pretty awesome. I was very excited when they started singing because I finally felt comfortable. I knew what I was doing. They sang their songs and swore about how it was the Drummer "Chris's" birthday. The left and then the curtains fell on the rock stage. White curtains covered the whole stage area and through the shadows we could make out small figures placing large objects here and there. I was really tired by now, after "rocking out" to AAR. They really were a great band. Fall Out Boy was next. I had my favorite’s songs of theirs but they weren't a really big favorite of mine. I liked them but I was too caught up on AAR. Finally the curtains fell to reveal a big white stage with the drummer placed up on a higher platform and various background curtains. The band began playing and the crowd immediately erupted into shouts and hollers screaming their name, begging for their loud music. They began playing a popular song and I immediately felt my energy return. Jordona pushed me down the steps, where we once again looked for a good spot. The songs went by and we traveled isle to isle, standing listening to the band play and talk about the meanings of their songs and life on tour. We finally found a perfect spot near the back of the stadium where no one was standing. We had a perfect view and it was a great spot. Jordona, I could see, really wanted to travel into "The Pit" and I just brushed off her feelings. "Heck no." I thought "I am NOT going in that thing" as I looked out to the moshing crowds of bigger, sweatier, smelly people. The songs wore on and my energy was as bright as ever as they played my favorite songs. The last song came on and I felt a bit of dread as I turned to Jordona and asked her quietly, "Do you want to rush into the pit?" She smiled brightly and grabbed my arm and pulled me to a fence where we jumped into the stadium floor. The security just watched us as a swarm of people ran past. We made our way to the mid area of the pit where everyone was jumping and screaming for the band. I was screaming and jumping along with them. It was the most exhilarating experiences of my life. I had never had anything like that happen to me. It was incredible. I just can't believe I actually did something like that. I am a total coward. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to go. It was worth all the money.

Bubble bubble.... #28

I absolutely love this computer. I'm staying at my brothers for the night and he has the coolest compy ever. I swear. Anyway. I had this all ready for this blog so I'm just going to post it really quick. I'm too proud of it but I've worked hard on it with my friend. Enjoy.

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A cold hand brushed against my cheek, waking me from my peaceful slumber. All I could remember was a doughnut.
“You passed out” a quiet voice in the corner droned out. I propped myself up in what to appeared to be a king sized mattress lavished in deep violet bedding. My eyes adjusted to the darkness. A shadow lurked in the corner silently, all except his light panting.
“Passed out?” I quietly recollected ‘Yes! I think I remember…’ I thought to myself.
“No, you don’t” The creeping man said gently and… I forgot. I couldn’t remember anything of the previous night.
“You and your friend… Jiggy, were at a café when all of the sudden you were out and fell like a sack of potaters’” the voice echoed in the dim room.
“Potaters?” I questioned.
“Something I picked up from Nicolai, I suppose…” The figure said and emerged from his dark cover. The man was tall with an extremely pale complexion. He loomed over me and brushed his shiny hair. It was a blood red that faded into a deep black.
“Nicolai…?” I grimaced. “Who is Nicolai?” Then the familiar cowboy trotted into the room projecting a mischievous aura. “He is Nicolai.” The first man pointed out. “I am Zane. We are brothers. We have three others… You will meet them soon enough. Welcome to our humble abode. Zane majestically presented the room. Nicolai moved shyly over to the bed I was laying on. I cast a frightened look into his deep green eyes. He tipped his hat to me politely and I pulled myself away, feeling something unnatural about his presence.
“Sally…?” Jiggy emerged through the doorway doused in a floor length trench coat. She seemed different, as if she was frightened. I had no idea why but it seemed as if we had switched minds. I had never seen Jiggy frightened before, and I had never once had the desire to protect her. It was her job to protect me… I pondered this as I looked into her eyes. They pleaded for help. For once she was dependant on me. What made the headlong Jiggy change so abruptly? I stared at her and thought about our change. Then I noticed her grasping her wrist, with blood seeping through her hand, beginning our leap into the demoted world of the Noble Household.

My Heart's a Battleground... #27

Kingdom Hearts 2 is finally out. So… much… happiness… I am lacking money so I just rented it for now, and am furiously trying to beat it before Saturday. Sadly, I’m stuck on this stupid Tron motorcycle part and I got mad so I am taking a break. The game is absolutely awesome. All the flaws in the first game have been fixed in this one. The fighting system is incredible, the graphics so smooth and it’s everlastingly entertaining. I love it, so very much.

It is a mix between Disney and Square Soft (the makers of Final Fantasy and such), which I believe is an awesome combination. I mean, two mega-franchises put together to make a universal game that appeals to almost everyone? Great. Great. Great. I’ve heard a lot of arguments that they “ruined” many of the Final Fantasy characters but when you think about it, it is better. You get to see your favorite characters in new situations with improved graphics, and placed in a completely different land where you can explore the limits of the character farther than you could in it’s original game. I heard an argument that when you are fighting some of the cool characters from Final Fantasy and you hear Donald quacking it totally ruins the experience. I happen to be quite fond of Donald and if you want to tell me otherwise, go right ahead. I’ll smack you silly with my keyblade. So, nyeh.

The story is complicated for me right now. It’s very complex and has a lot of weird side stories and plots to figure out. I mean, SORA WAS REINCARNATED OR SOMETHING. AND WHAT ABOUT THE NOBODIES?! WILL IT EVER EXPLAIN?! Coughs… please excuse my sudden outburst. It’s just that there are so many different things that I’ve either missed or just haven’t processed that it is hard to concentrate. It has a really strong plot, and it makes you think. So it’s not BAD that I’m confused… It’s just confusing… Ha. I am getting pretty far actually. I’m just stuck on this one stinking part. I have to ride this motorcycle thing in this computer-techno-ish world thing called the “Space Paranoids” and I’m completely and utterly hopeless. I’m supposed to turn left when these heartless/nobodies (I’m not sure which) are attacking me and I have NO way to heal myself. I mean, come on. Give me a break. I’m not in god mode here. It’s been a struggle. Struggle. Ha.

It’s just so awesome though. I haven’t found too many things that I don’t like. The new weapons are incredible looking. I love the one I have right now. It’s called Oathkeeper. It is very awesome. Goofy has a book right now… Donald has this star staff thing. Goofy and Donald are your other main characters. It’s not turn based so you don’t control them but they help out a lot. I can not do anything and they could kill all the guys for me but it’s so much more fun when you do it yourself. I recently finished Agraba, with Aladin. It was fun, but the Pirates of the Caribbean world seemed a lot more fun. I loved the animation in it. I’m so excited for the Nightmare before Christmas World. I’m leaving the Tron thing right now to go play the world. I’ve got leveling up to do I guess.

Yes, I am a videogame nerd. I love them so much. And my brain is melting by the minute.

No body likes you... #26

Green day.

Mr. T! I'm so so so sorry about Anthem! I really am! I'm trying really hard to get everything ready, I just cant find it in my locker! I'm really sorry! I'll get it to you tomorrow hopefully! Please don't hate me!

...

Anyway. Desperate ranting is over now. I really liked this Memoir I wrote in english so I thought I'd post it:
Forced into Darkness

I have never been so scared in my life. Home is supposed to be somewhere I can be safe and feel at peace. For the most part, my house is a care free environment, with happy times and a loving feeling through out the halls… Except one area that terrifies me even today, the basement. I’m supposed to go down stairs and grab some clothes but something inside of me is holding me back. My basement is the darkest creepiest area and I’m supposed to go down there? Me? I’m the coward of my family! No way. I refuse, but my mom makes me anyway.
“Sarah, I need you to go get my work pants! Now scoot!” my mom says to me. I feel my mind begin to race and my palms become sweaty.
“D-Downstairs?” I gulped. I wish my mom would ask my brother instead of me. I shoot her a terrified expression and make my way down the first set of steps. That was the easy part. I walk steadily down the kitchen hallway where the door to the basement lies. My mind is rejecting the thoughts of going down the eerie stairwell. My trembling hand reaches for the worn hand and I open the door revealing a hungry black abyss waiting to consume innocent little me. I felt so overcome with fear; I have never been so scared of my own home before.
I take one step into the hall placing me a step closer to the blackness. I make my trembling take another step down. ‘This is getting easier’ I think to myself. My eyes wane to the cobwebs on the ceiling, and shudder. ‘Never mind…’ I squeak as the cobwebs send a new fear over me. As I trudge my way through the blankness I begin to have a strange sense of vertigo and see my whole life flash before my eyes.
I see my mother happily escorting me to the bathroom at Garcia’s, our favorite family restaurant at the time. Now, I see my brothers wrestling on the couch. Then I see a flying tomato with a possum dressed as a fireman pass my view. ‘Huh?’ I freeze. That never happened!
The strange hallucination, which I assumed was brought upon by fear, snaps m back to reality and I draw my attention to the fact that I have reached the bottom of the stairs. As if I had just conquered Mt. Everest I pant deeply, grasping the handle bolted to the side of the wall. My hand shakes violently as I reach for the light switch.
“Sarah! Hurry!” my mom hollers from upstairs. I hear her scrambling around, completing her daily routine. Her screaming causes me to jump and I trip over a nearby box, stumbling into the basement in front of the Laundry room. ‘Convenient…’ I chuckle.
The darkness looms over me, taking my breath. I pick myself up and walk into the laundry room, immediately spotting my moms work pants. I also see a laundry basket with my freshly clean socks, which I had needed for a while now. I snatch a pair and turn to run. Behind me I hear a heavy breathing, thrusting me into panic mode, which for a young girl is pretty drastic. The breathing continues and begins to almost follow me. I force myself to hurtle up the steps, feeling as if the darkness is nipping at my heel, dragging me back down into the pits of my personal hell.
I rip myself away from the cold grasp, and fall through the door and into my kitchen.
My body pulls itself up in fear and darts toward the stairs to the upper level. I surge up the second stairs and dart down the hall. My mom stares at me blankly as I throw myself onto her wobbly waterbed. My breathing is staggered and I can barely lift my head.
“Did… Did you get my pants?” asked my mom timidly. I pull the pants from underneath me and throw them at her.
“Thanks, sweetums!” My mom said as she pulled herself to go iron them. My brother Justin trudges in and holds up a sock to me.
“I tried to give it to you downstairs, but you ran away from me.” He mumbled. I stop and stare at him. I immediately recognize a heavy breathing escaping his sick lungs. My brother was the creature in the darkness that I was terrified. All my fear, for nothing…